You know, I don’t really ever write poetry, so I’m not sure why I did so here, other than the fact the idea of it wouldn’t get out of my head. It’s always fun to experiment, at any rate.
Quiet on a hill,
And quiet as can be,
A mouse sits underneath,
A bowed quivering tree.
Hushed and harrowed,
The wailing wind wisps,
Around fear-stained memories,
And trembling whiskers twitch.
But dawn shines bright,
Bleeding through branches bowed,
They feed on fear,
Taking all that is allowed.
Quiet on a hill,
And quiet as can be,
A mouse leaves lightly behind,
A bowed quivering tree.
For someone who doesn’t write poetry, that’s really very good. Perhaps you should write some more? 🙂
Thanks, Fee, and maybe. The idea of it eludes me most of the time, though. 😛
You can’t tell that you don’t usually write poetry – this is a lovely poem.
Thank you Laura, that means a lot to me. 🙂
This is lovely Sara! i wondered whether this time I would be quaking in my books. Glad to see I’m not although the reference to fear is making me question …
Thanks, Susan–it’s not too creepy this time. 😉 And I’m glad it’s gotten you questioning, I like it when that happens (personally).
For someone who doesn’t often right poetry, you do a great job 🙂
Tasha
Tasha’s Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)
Thank you Tasha. I appreciate it. 🙂
Love it! Sometime your thoughts will nag you until you write them down. They want to be heard!!
Thank you Tanya! And yeah, sometimes ideas/stories feel like their own little entities. 🙂
And first read it looks like a metaphor for bravery. At second & third reading it looks more like a celebration of the dawn. Even without a metaphoric reading I like it because the mouse seems real, like it is sitting right before me.
Thanks, Craig. I always enjoy hearing/reading about how people interpret my writing. I like how the exact same words on a page can draw slightly different pictures in one’s mind, depending on who is doing the reading. It’s all kind of magical, really. 🙂
That is really good! It was quite whimsical but had darker overtones, too.
Thanks, Nick! Whimsy and dark are two of my favorite things in reading/writing. 🙂
That is a lovely sing song poem 🙂
Sophie
Sophie’s Thoughts & Fumbles
FB3X
Wittegen Press
Thanks, Sophie. 🙂
How dear, Sara. Charming poem. You seem to write so facilely. I’m glad the mouse got out.
🙂
Thanks Samantha. I had to look up facilely. 😉 But that’s a great compliment, thank you.
This went a very different way from where I though it was going 😀 I was thinking of quiver as in a thing that holds arrows… because of my accent I usually pronounce them the same 😀
I love the opening and closing frame 🙂
@TarkabarkaHolgy from
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Thanks, Csenge. I thought the same thing when I saw “quiver tree” — arrows. But… this idea wouldn’t leave! So here it is. 😉
And I don’t usually read poetry, but I really liked this one 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
I’m not a big fan of modern poetry either, but that’s beautiful. Lovely imagery.
I liked it! 🙂
Thanks, J.H.! 🙂
‘Though you say you are a poet not,
Yours words speak with beauty.
I bask in the glory of your rhyme
And a true poet I find in thee.
A poem for poetic words more beautiful than I ever could write.
Wow, thanks Djinnia for the poem! And I wouldn’t be so sure about that. 🙂
Hi Sara – that was a delightful read and definitely a poem for many of us .. and I love Quiver trees … cheers Hilary
Thanks, Hilary. 🙂
Nice! It reminds me of a mouse from a story I read long ago. Perhaps from Watership Down? In any case, a pleasure to read.
I only remember rabbits in Watership Down. Still, if it makes you think of that book, that’s pretty cool. Thanks, Lori. 🙂